Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
