apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
