I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
