I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
