I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
