Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
