I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
