please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Vodka?
Forever.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
