Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
