just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
