He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
