I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
