She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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