how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She even gives head with a lisp.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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