I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
