Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize