I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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