I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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