Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize