well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
