I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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