but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
