goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
