he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
