i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
