I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Are we still banned from the library?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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