I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
