Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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