I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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