Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize