I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i think my mom watched the whole time
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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