If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize