butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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