I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
