Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We just shotgunned beers for America
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
