I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize