A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
