I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
3 2 1 whiskey
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
