The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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