There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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