Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
