I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
