I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
if only i could text you this smell
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
