with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
