Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
