it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
