you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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