my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
