I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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