Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize