She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
