u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
