Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
